Kicking Around

Now then

Much to report after a busy couple of weeks for the membership.

We start in the Championship where Steven Pickersgill was severely reprimanded after a Grade 2 "kicking the football" offence in the recent fixture against Toulouse. Look lad, you can't go round doing stuff like that if you want your chance with the bigger lads next year in Super Duper League and with TV cameras present as well

If it weren't bad enough for Craig Huby and his broken kneecap, he wasn't over impressed being hauled up to PFU Towers to explain the arrival of a white booted Martin Aspinwall sticking his melon in the front row of the scrum during the recent game against Leeds. Huby, god bless him, twanged the heart strings of a few of the committee members by tipping up with his less than three week old son with him to the meeting, claiming the wife was busy entertaining his daughter and he was a "modern parent". A clever ploy by Mr Huby but the Chairman still has his heart of stone and a reprimand was issued to the club as a whole.


Big Eorl at Huddersfield caused consternation t'other day by posting his new boots on his twitter account for one and all to see.

These boots are not acceptable lad. Bring tha cheque book, oh and a pen as well.

We also apologise for printing this picture and we acknowledge the author of this picture and his intellectual (er) rights

And, to boot we also think you should volunteer to be the new Back to Black ambassador as a punishment

Richard Moore heaps more disgrace on himself and the good folk of North Wales after his disgraceful antics at Headingley t'other Saturday Not satisfied after getting a ban after being clouted by some full back t'other Monday his left footed bomb and subsequent chase were clearly seen by one and all on NATIONAL FREE TO AIR Television. What the hell are you thinking lad?

Down in sunny Wakefield, with the antics of Kyle Amor running across the line, showing and going and running through gaps to score has gone down like the proverbial lead balloon. Granted it was against lower clash opposition but Mr Amor has been sent a warning letter reminding him of his duties towards the Union and we expect his conduct to improve in the near future.

The committee were saddened by the decision to charge Nathan Brown over comments made after the Leeds v Huddersfield game with regards to letting his big blokes look after the little ones. The prospect of seeing members going mano a mano on the meadow have now been dashed for some time to come.

We were saddened to hear the news from Australia about former member Sam Burgess being knocked out for the rest of the year with a bad injury and the committee would like to wish the lad a speedy recovery and we hope to see him back on the paddock soon rather than filling up the twitter feed of the Chairman. Maybe he can remind his younger brother, Thomas, about this try scoring lark and maybe look to the effort of Frank Watene as inspiration.

Now we like Louie McCarthy-Scarsbrook, despite him being a Southerner and all that. He needs to clean up his act big time, the language he uses on his twitter account made the Hon Secretary's eyes water so much there's a kleenex shortage at the Towers. He needs to learn the act of banter as well, because at the moment he's an expert in shanter. (thanks @GavWilson ) He also needs to learn not to mess with Nicholas Scruton, who put him quickly back in his place with an eloquent put down.

The PFU advice line somehow opened via our twitter account this week, we had an enquiry from @Craig311981

"I need help, my son isn't a prop, he is 7, I've just bought him blue and white boots, with pink stripes, where do I pay the fine"

Apparently this @craig311981 is a prop forward encouraging his lad not to follow union guidelines. He was taking liberties until he explained that his offspring was happy hiding in the back. Toughen the lad up and make sure he follows in your boots.

We're more than happy to help anyone who gets in touch on the twitter, just don't be offended by the reply.

Thanks again to this weeks dobbers and dabbers, @Kevbateman, @MatthewAHorton @petevickers @atomictrain @jourdmart @RobNixon586 @neilbarraclough @andywiz @garrylad

Oh, and we'd like to plug the fund raising barbecue at Odsal on't 3rd July for the Floods and Earthquake victims. ISC have sponsored it and there is a Barby, beer and some Touch Rugby competition. To get a team in that, contact friend of the Union Ricky Wilby on 07598 564996 or follow him on twitter at @RickyWilby or @scratchingshed2 for more information about the do,

Prop on prop action

Nah then.

Hope your all keeping well and getting ready for a weekend of hot prop on prop action on your sofas. We have been led to believe that all the games are on the telly this weekend so there is no hiding place for members who wish to disregard to rules of this Union. Myself, I'm off to the Grandson's and he's getting this fangly AitchDee so will be able to keep up on all the action meself.

Right, first up is the disgraceful scenes that saw seven out of eight members in the one game wearing inappropriate footwear. This occurred with members of the Hull (West) and Wakefield chapters last Friday. Gentlemen, this is beginning to go beyond funny now. We expect you to follow the example set by Mr O'Meley in this game. His boots were the example we are looking to set and we hope you follow his lead in the near future.

Adrian Morley seemed to have seen Mr O'Meley on Friday, he sported a pair of regulation boots on Sunday afternoon. Good work that son.

Just a reminder to you all



Lots of plaudits for James Graham after the weekend and his performance for the Tellins Chapter. Ok, the lad run his blood to water and all that but chasing a cheeky scrum half and almost catching him is going beyond the line of what we would expect from our members. And anyway, he didn't do a full 80 minutes so he can't have been that good.

Staying in St Helens the following has been bought to our attention via the twitter by @stumain. We would expect a more seasoned member to be behaving in a more responsible manner. The mere fact it's been caught on camera just makes it even worse. Watch it and weep. We'll be expecting a cheque on the mat in the near future.

Regular contributor @garrylad has bought to the attention of the PFU some hot prop on prop action from Odsal last Sunday. According to his report, Nicholas Scruton (Bradford) smashed Joel Clinton (Hull (East)) into the middle of next week with what he describes at "The Hit of the Season". Mr Clinton though has emerged with plenty of kudos, for a: staying on his feet and b: retaining the ball. We seem to remember Mr Clinton being on the end of something similar in Australia a few years back and it'd good to see he's still keeping his performances up to scratch, if his choice of footwear leaves a little to be desired.

More prop on prop action in the Challenge Cup. Big plaudits for Messrs Beattie (guest from France) and Gannon (Widnes) from a cup tie t'other night for upholding traditional Union values. They were at each others throats all game until the referee had enough late in the second half and dispatched them both to the sin bin. A bravura performance from both according to our snout, whatever bravura is. Sounds like some poncey car you'd expect to see some cheeky half back in.

More disturbing reference to that there Luke Burgess. He's been named on Twitter by some hooker stating the he was in a relationship with someone called Frog. It's not Smokey and the Bandit you know lad, get yourself a nice lass son otherwise you'll have Buford T Justice after your backside.

Craig Huby has again been cited, this time for playing in the second row without applying for the necessary permit. He still had white boots on and was spotted again kicking the ball out of hand as well. The cheque landed as usual on Monday morning but god help him if it bounces.

Sad to see Raymond Cashmere only bitch slapping some poncey full back on Sunday instead of planting him with a good fist to the mush. Also more members of the Castleford chapter have been reported by that man @stumain for boot offences. Mitchell Sargent, Liam Higgins and Paul Jackson all sighted and cited with Jackson's hideous red and white combination causing most concern and offence.

So, if you're off to Edinburgh this weekend. Safe journeys and all that but don't forget to sight and cite from the proceedings. You can contact us on here via the comments option or direct to the Chairman via Twitter, which if your up in Scotland might be a bit easier.

Thanking you kindly.

As you were

Catching up on business

Nah then.

First of all an apology to our regular readers and viewers for the break in transmission in recent times. We've had a bit of sickness running through the Union and the Chairman has been particularly sick at the recent antics of some of the members.

We don't know where to start to be honest but we're going to dip into lower league action to start with and we're going to pick on a young man by the name of Daniel Samuels. Now if you're wondering who he is, he plays for Rochdale and he's taken this boot thing a stage further. Not content with showing blatant disregard for the boot policy of this fine Union, he's been spotted packing down in the front row in a pair of ORANGE, yes that's Orange, boots. We'll be writing to Mr Samuel for an explanation of these actions.

At least Andy Lynch has ditched that boot combination we were talking about a while ago but he brought shame and embarrassment on himself when attempting a drop goal in the clash at Headingley just before Easter. What's more disappointing is it wern't that bad an effort to start with but thankfully it were off target, so he escapes the maximum fine.

More disgraceful behaviour at Huddersfield on Friday night, not content with his girly hair cut and the white boots that taint this fine union at the moment Eorl Crabtree was spotted packing down in the middle of the front row. This is a clear breach of Union guidelines, no pass out had been applied for and we'll be reminding Mr Crabtree of his responsibility towards the Union and fellow members.

That big Feka lad at Wigan led they way on Good Friday with a fine example of a prop
forwards try in't big derby again Tellins. It was a shining example of an acceptable try scoring play for a member. Unfortunately on Sunday he blotted his copybook with wearing these white boots with a pink stripe on em. What's going on there lad? We'll be hauling you over the coals in the near future.

Richard Moore has been cited by a member of the public for a disgraceful act at the Pie Dome on Easter Monday. Again those dreaded white boots were on show and he performed an act of kicking the football which resulted in a goal line drop out. We'd shudder at the thought that he's been socialising with that Huby but we'll come onto him later in the piece.

Another member of the public has highlighted a reverse flick type pass by Kylie Leuluai of the Leeds chapter in France to set up a try. This though was balanced out by a late hit on some poncey winger. It cost the big man a spell in the sin bin but it was worth every single minute.

We've been asked about Props wearing these fancy skins and undershirts. The answer to that is simple. It's wrong. Now we know James Peacock has been known to wear a long sleeved shirt every now and then but we accept that because it's old school and retro. We've also been asked about mouthguards, a necessary evil unfortunately but can be a source of amusement. I remember a young Nicholas Scruton scoring for Hull against Leeds, big smile on his mug only to see his blue and amber guard on display. The boy knows his roots.

It has been reported that one of our more impressionable member at Wakefield, Ben Gledhill is being led astray but more senior members. Although complimented by our spy for his performance, that being superior to more seasoned member, he needs to sort out this boot issue and stop wearing white boots and find a good pair of black uns. This footwear problem is an ongoing problem at Wakefield and we'll be making our feelings known.

We'd like to compliment Ryan Bailey of the Leeds chapter for taking note of the boot policy. He was sporting a pair of predominantly black boots on Sunday. Still a bit of white on em but they were much better than in recent times.

We're also disturbed to hear that Shane Tronc is under the thumb of his better half and he's being forced to move back down under. Put your foot down lad, you shouldn't be letting your woman tell you what you should be doing. And while your home, buy some new bloody boots. Unless your missus won't let you, of course.

Craig Huby is getting back into old habits, more kicking the ball in the game last weekend against Huddersfield. We're quite glad actually, he's beginning to regret the errors of his ways and the cheque landed on the mat on Monday morning. Big wraps to his colleague at the Castleford chapter, Liam Higgins. That is a proper, old school prop's physique he's got going on there. Reminds me of a young Brendan Hill.

Luke Burgess's behaviour continues to cause concern for the Union. Some of his twitter updates are quite alarming.

We've also had some reports of boot problems down under. Nowt to do wi us, but we've passed your comments onto our friends in Australia for further investigation.

Don't forget as ever we're nowt without your help and contributions. You can sight and cite via Twitter, commenting on here or on RLFANS.

Thanking you kindly.

As you were

WHITE BOOTS ARE BAD FOR YOUR HEALTH! OFFICIAL

Nah then.

Another busy week in't union and we do think sometime that the @PFUChairman is going to collapse if this disgraceful behaviour continues amongst the membership.

First up we have the usual boot problems as ever. I hope that the membership is aware that wearing white boots can seriously damage your health. As James Peacock of the Leeds chapter found out to his cost on Friday night when he sported a pair o' bluddy white boots on Friday night and subsequently buggered his foot. Let that be a lesson.

T'others spotted in unsuitable footwear at the weekend include....
Joel Clinton (Hull (East)) - White boots
Luke Burgess (Leeds), for a bloody change - White Boots
Craig Huby (Castleford) - White with a BLUE flash? At least he refrained from kicking the ball, but we can't help thinking he's taking the mick.
Shane Tronc (Wakefield) - White boots
Richard Moore (Wakefield) - White boots
Michael Korkidas (Wakefield) - White boots
Scott Wheeldon (Hull (East)) - RED boots?
Andrew Lynch (Bradford) - Yellow/Grey boots (wtf)?

The usual suspects from the Catalan chapter were also spotted sporting some inappropriate footwear at Wrexham on Friday night, though it was noticeable that Rémi Casty had been dropped. We feel sure union pressure contributed to this. We hear some members were involved in the heavy welcome that Gareth Thomas was given to our fine sport and we commend them for that.

We've also had a report from our finally-resurfaced Cumbrian scout (we thought we'd lost him in the recent snows) about a lad called Ruari McGoff at Wukkinton. Not only did he wear GREEN Boots last week we thought he'd learnt his lesson when he were spotted in't sport shop in't week only to turn up at Spotland in a pair of GOLD boots on Sunday. Deary me today, what is the bloody world coming to.

Let's just reiterate this:


In other news, James Graham of the Tellins Chapter has also been snitched on for a grade two kicking the football offence during the "Cup Final" at Knowsley Road on Friday night. Apparently he put a "bomb" up during the game. This is unacceptable behaviour from young James but it's glad to see him back after apparently going missing in Manchester last October.

Garreth Haggerty is one lad the young 'uns should look up to. Still with the classic prop physique, he came up with a charge down t'other night, but rather than try going the length, just handed it onto a cheeky half-back instead. It's classic case of knowing your role. The aforementioned Rémi Casty is clearly learning too. Picking up a loose ball against Salford, he went 30 metres, clearly realised what he was about to do and dropped it, thereby ensuring compliance with union policy.

We'll repeat the appeal again for your sightings and citings folks, we rely on your help to ensure culprits are dealt with in the correct fashion. Comment on here, contact the Hon Chairman on RLFANS or Twitter.

Thanking you kindly

As you were

Busy week for the PFU disciplinary

Nah then.

Ridiculously busy weekend for the Union with breaches left, right, centre and loose forward I don't know where to begin.

First up the Hon. Chairman would like to place on record his thanks to Twitterer @garrylad for his reporting of an unsavoury incident involving Mr Mark O'Meley. Apparently the big lad was caught doing the heinous crime of "kicking the football" during the Hull (West) v Wigan game on Friday night. The fact this kick led to a try for a cheeky half back is nigh on unforgivable. That's a grade two charge for the Ogre and has been referred to the fines committee.

Speaking of tries, Shane Tronc of the Wakefield Chapter bought disgrace to this fine Union by scoring TWO tries during their game at the Hull (East) chapter on Friday night. To compound this Mr Tronc was also spotted sporting a pair of WHITE boots. Good god lad, I hope they are paying you well down at Belle Vue as you'll be making a significant contribution to Union funds for those transgressions. Although we will let you off for the actual tries Tronc lad, they did fall well within Union guidelines, i.e. classic crash-over technique.

While we are on the subject of boots, it's been a pretty poor do this weekend from Union members. We've decided to name and shame them we don't mention elsewhere.....

Bradford Chapter member Mr Craig Kopzcak (v Warrington)
Fartown Chapter member Mr Darrell Griffin (v Leeds)
Perpignan Chapter members Messrs Dane Carlaw and Remi Casty (v Castleford)
Wakefield Chapter member Mr Richard Moore v (Hull (East))
Leeds Chapter member Mr Luke Burgess (v Fartown)

Mr David Ferriol of the Perpignan chapter apparently sported a pair of white boots augmented with a PINK stripe. This will result in a disciplinary hearing which may see Mr Ferriol's Union membership revoked. He should take note of the example set by Perpignan shop steward Mr Jerome Guisset who sported a pair of solid black boots. It's good to see the veterans of the art leading the way on this and backing the new official campaign to eradicate this blight. The Hon. Treasurer's young lad knocked this up in a Photo shop or something:



This is the official logo of the Back To Black campaign.

The committee would like to place on record their praise for Warrington shop steward Mr Adrian Morley for playing the full 80 against Bradford without a break. The committee also noted that Mr James Peacock also completed the full game, but this was tempered by the fact he was named in the second row. We hope Mr Peacock raised his concerns with the relevant department as this could jeapordise his membership of our fine Union. A temporary pass out can be obtained, but no request was received from Mr Peacock. His fine, fine record leads us to give him the benefit of the doubt - maybe it is lost in the post - but we seek a face-to-face meeting.

Andy Raleigh of the Fartown Chapter let himself down on Sunday with his white boots, but this was offset by him sparking up a bit of knuckle by flinging a few at some fancy dan second rower. This doesn't excuse entirely the footwear, but the biffo will be taken into account when deciding the level of the fine. The committee would also notes that white booted Mr Ryan Bailey of the Leeds chapter has learnt his lesson from the World Club Challenge. He was the first member on scene and decided this time to throw a few indiscriminate punches as well during the same schemozzle.

The Union has also contacted the Dewsbury shop steward to enquire why the number 8 and 10 shirts have not been occupied by members this year. What is the bloody world coming to? They have some cheeky half back wearing 8 and a bloody centre - a bloody centre - wearing 10. This is a bloody disgrace, these numbers should be sacrosanct on a rugby pitch and only sported by Union members. We realise this is an area overlooked by the Union in the past in these squad number days, but now we're aware there's an issue, we'll be looking.

Don't forget, if tha sights owt then cite em. Comments on here or contact the Hon. Chairman on twitter.

Thanking you kindly, as you were.