Kicking Around

Now then

Much to report after a busy couple of weeks for the membership.

We start in the Championship where Steven Pickersgill was severely reprimanded after a Grade 2 "kicking the football" offence in the recent fixture against Toulouse. Look lad, you can't go round doing stuff like that if you want your chance with the bigger lads next year in Super Duper League and with TV cameras present as well

If it weren't bad enough for Craig Huby and his broken kneecap, he wasn't over impressed being hauled up to PFU Towers to explain the arrival of a white booted Martin Aspinwall sticking his melon in the front row of the scrum during the recent game against Leeds. Huby, god bless him, twanged the heart strings of a few of the committee members by tipping up with his less than three week old son with him to the meeting, claiming the wife was busy entertaining his daughter and he was a "modern parent". A clever ploy by Mr Huby but the Chairman still has his heart of stone and a reprimand was issued to the club as a whole.


Big Eorl at Huddersfield caused consternation t'other day by posting his new boots on his twitter account for one and all to see.

These boots are not acceptable lad. Bring tha cheque book, oh and a pen as well.

We also apologise for printing this picture and we acknowledge the author of this picture and his intellectual (er) rights

And, to boot we also think you should volunteer to be the new Back to Black ambassador as a punishment

Richard Moore heaps more disgrace on himself and the good folk of North Wales after his disgraceful antics at Headingley t'other Saturday Not satisfied after getting a ban after being clouted by some full back t'other Monday his left footed bomb and subsequent chase were clearly seen by one and all on NATIONAL FREE TO AIR Television. What the hell are you thinking lad?

Down in sunny Wakefield, with the antics of Kyle Amor running across the line, showing and going and running through gaps to score has gone down like the proverbial lead balloon. Granted it was against lower clash opposition but Mr Amor has been sent a warning letter reminding him of his duties towards the Union and we expect his conduct to improve in the near future.

The committee were saddened by the decision to charge Nathan Brown over comments made after the Leeds v Huddersfield game with regards to letting his big blokes look after the little ones. The prospect of seeing members going mano a mano on the meadow have now been dashed for some time to come.

We were saddened to hear the news from Australia about former member Sam Burgess being knocked out for the rest of the year with a bad injury and the committee would like to wish the lad a speedy recovery and we hope to see him back on the paddock soon rather than filling up the twitter feed of the Chairman. Maybe he can remind his younger brother, Thomas, about this try scoring lark and maybe look to the effort of Frank Watene as inspiration.

Now we like Louie McCarthy-Scarsbrook, despite him being a Southerner and all that. He needs to clean up his act big time, the language he uses on his twitter account made the Hon Secretary's eyes water so much there's a kleenex shortage at the Towers. He needs to learn the act of banter as well, because at the moment he's an expert in shanter. (thanks @GavWilson ) He also needs to learn not to mess with Nicholas Scruton, who put him quickly back in his place with an eloquent put down.

The PFU advice line somehow opened via our twitter account this week, we had an enquiry from @Craig311981

"I need help, my son isn't a prop, he is 7, I've just bought him blue and white boots, with pink stripes, where do I pay the fine"

Apparently this @craig311981 is a prop forward encouraging his lad not to follow union guidelines. He was taking liberties until he explained that his offspring was happy hiding in the back. Toughen the lad up and make sure he follows in your boots.

We're more than happy to help anyone who gets in touch on the twitter, just don't be offended by the reply.

Thanks again to this weeks dobbers and dabbers, @Kevbateman, @MatthewAHorton @petevickers @atomictrain @jourdmart @RobNixon586 @neilbarraclough @andywiz @garrylad

Oh, and we'd like to plug the fund raising barbecue at Odsal on't 3rd July for the Floods and Earthquake victims. ISC have sponsored it and there is a Barby, beer and some Touch Rugby competition. To get a team in that, contact friend of the Union Ricky Wilby on 07598 564996 or follow him on twitter at @RickyWilby or @scratchingshed2 for more information about the do,

Union laughing stock

Not this union, you understand, the other one. Rugby union. Yes, it comes as a shock to us all that they can make themselves look more foolish than anyone thought possible, but they've done it. It's farewell from the PFU to Willie Mason (Hull East) after a farcical time in England with Hull KR playing the rulebook like a finely tuned piano. Having given up on attempting to get him a Tongan passport, he's now off to play the fifteen-man game in France where he'll be deployed as a fancy-dan centre. Yes, that's right. Willie Mason - THE Willie Mason - a fancy-dan centre. Beggars belief doesn't it. There is no word yet whether Rovers will be retaining the huge pile of unsold 'Mason 23' jerseys in anticipation of a move to sign Huddersfield's Keith for next season.

Easter is always a busy period and that's no different at PFU headquarters. We had Paul Wood and Garreth Carvell (Warrington) reported to us for potential try-scoring breaches against Salford on Good Friday, but Carvell's was well within guidelines while Wood's may normally have incurred a fine, he successfully used the "but Salford were utter rubbish" defence. Moreover, we caught sight of this picture on Twitter of him doing sterling work on the union's behalf, so how could we be anything other than lenient.

Paul Johnson (Wakefield) continues to blot his copybook with fancy footwear and a 30-metre try against Castleford. He should learn from Andy Coley (Wigan) who went on a similar run, realised his mistake and knocked-on over the line against Wakefield on the Monday.

Disturbing scenes at the Odsal Superdome on the Thursday where an entire scrum packed down in white boots. Even Andy Lynch - not normally the rebellious type - succumbed to temptation and we'll be calling in the Bradford and Leeds shop stewards for a cup of tea and a chat. Lynch was also reported for his try in that game, but a review of the available footage showed he was OK.

Karl Temata's (London West) try against Hull KR, also on Monday, was reported to us. He broke the line 10 metres out and went over unopposed, but his flapping mullet was taken into account when deciding no further action would be taken. It's not been a vintage year for Richard Moore (Wales North) who is rapidly becoming the worst offender. Whilst wearing white boots against Leeds on Monday, he was also chinned by a full-back. Yes, he got his retaliation in afterwards, but is the motto of this fine union not (among other things) Thou Shalt Get Thy Retaliation In First Lad. Meanwhile on Tuesday, there was precious little going on at Huddersfield where Nathan Brown has yet to follow through on his threats to call open season between the big lads. Get on with it lad.

More Twitter nonsense from the disgraceful Luke Burgess (Leeds) who revealed he was getting waxed. Apparently, that hurts, so we feel obliged to add to the pain by stinging him with a fine. Cough up, young 'un.

Finally, best wishes to reformed character Craig Huby (Castleford). A broken kneecap is a bloody horrible injury and everyone at HQ wishes him a speedy and successful recovery.


Thanks to this week's spotters, namely @W_L_Andy, @andywiz, @MatthewAHorton, @atomictrain, @whatmichaelsays and @exiledwool. Keep up the good work and let us know what you see when you're out and about.