Thursday, 29 April 2010

Prop on prop action

Nah then.

Hope your all keeping well and getting ready for a weekend of hot prop on prop action on your sofas. We have been led to believe that all the games are on the telly this weekend so there is no hiding place for members who wish to disregard to rules of this Union. Myself, I'm off to the Grandson's and he's getting this fangly AitchDee so will be able to keep up on all the action meself.

Right, first up is the disgraceful scenes that saw seven out of eight members in the one game wearing inappropriate footwear. This occurred with members of the Hull (West) and Wakefield chapters last Friday. Gentlemen, this is beginning to go beyond funny now. We expect you to follow the example set by Mr O'Meley in this game. His boots were the example we are looking to set and we hope you follow his lead in the near future.

Adrian Morley seemed to have seen Mr O'Meley on Friday, he sported a pair of regulation boots on Sunday afternoon. Good work that son.

Just a reminder to you all

Lots of plaudits for James Graham after the weekend and his performance for the Tellins Chapter. Ok, the lad run his blood to water and all that but chasing a cheeky scrum half and almost catching him is going beyond the line of what we would expect from our members. And anyway, he didn't do a full 80 minutes so he can't have been that good.

Staying in St Helens the following has been bought to our attention via the twitter by @stumain. We would expect a more seasoned member to be behaving in a more responsible manner. The mere fact it's been caught on camera just makes it even worse. Watch it and weep. We'll be expecting a cheque on the mat in the near future.

Regular contributor @garrylad has bought to the attention of the PFU some hot prop on prop action from Odsal last Sunday. According to his report, Nicholas Scruton (Bradford) smashed Joel Clinton (Hull (East)) into the middle of next week with what he describes at "The Hit of the Season". Mr Clinton though has emerged with plenty of kudos, for a: staying on his feet and b: retaining the ball. We seem to remember Mr Clinton being on the end of something similar in Australia a few years back and it'd good to see he's still keeping his performances up to scratch, if his choice of footwear leaves a little to be desired.

More prop on prop action in the Challenge Cup. Big plaudits for Messrs Beattie (guest from France) and Gannon (Widnes) from a cup tie t'other night for upholding traditional Union values. They were at each others throats all game until the referee had enough late in the second half and dispatched them both to the sin bin. A bravura performance from both according to our snout, whatever bravura is. Sounds like some poncey car you'd expect to see some cheeky half back in.

More disturbing reference to that there Luke Burgess. He's been named on Twitter by some hooker stating the he was in a relationship with someone called Frog. It's not Smokey and the Bandit you know lad, get yourself a nice lass son otherwise you'll have Buford T Justice after your backside.

Craig Huby has again been cited, this time for playing in the second row without applying for the necessary permit. He still had white boots on and was spotted again kicking the ball out of hand as well. The cheque landed as usual on Monday morning but god help him if it bounces.

Sad to see Raymond Cashmere only bitch slapping some poncey full back on Sunday instead of planting him with a good fist to the mush. Also more members of the Castleford chapter have been reported by that man @stumain for boot offences. Mitchell Sargent, Liam Higgins and Paul Jackson all sighted and cited with Jackson's hideous red and white combination causing most concern and offence.

So, if you're off to Edinburgh this weekend. Safe journeys and all that but don't forget to sight and cite from the proceedings. You can contact us on here via the comments option or direct to the Chairman via Twitter, which if your up in Scotland might be a bit easier.

Thanking you kindly.

As you were

Saturday, 17 April 2010

Catching up on business

Nah then.

First of all an apology to our regular readers and viewers for the break in transmission in recent times. We've had a bit of sickness running through the Union and the Chairman has been particularly sick at the recent antics of some of the members.

We don't know where to start to be honest but we're going to dip into lower league action to start with and we're going to pick on a young man by the name of Daniel Samuels. Now if you're wondering who he is, he plays for Rochdale and he's taken this boot thing a stage further. Not content with showing blatant disregard for the boot policy of this fine Union, he's been spotted packing down in the front row in a pair of ORANGE, yes that's Orange, boots. We'll be writing to Mr Samuel for an explanation of these actions.

At least Andy Lynch has ditched that boot combination we were talking about a while ago but he brought shame and embarrassment on himself when attempting a drop goal in the clash at Headingley just before Easter. What's more disappointing is it wern't that bad an effort to start with but thankfully it were off target, so he escapes the maximum fine.

More disgraceful behaviour at Huddersfield on Friday night, not content with his girly hair cut and the white boots that taint this fine union at the moment Eorl Crabtree was spotted packing down in the middle of the front row. This is a clear breach of Union guidelines, no pass out had been applied for and we'll be reminding Mr Crabtree of his responsibility towards the Union and fellow members.

That big Feka lad at Wigan led they way on Good Friday with a fine example of a prop
forwards try in't big derby again Tellins. It was a shining example of an acceptable try scoring play for a member. Unfortunately on Sunday he blotted his copybook with wearing these white boots with a pink stripe on em. What's going on there lad? We'll be hauling you over the coals in the near future.

Richard Moore has been cited by a member of the public for a disgraceful act at the Pie Dome on Easter Monday. Again those dreaded white boots were on show and he performed an act of kicking the football which resulted in a goal line drop out. We'd shudder at the thought that he's been socialising with that Huby but we'll come onto him later in the piece.

Another member of the public has highlighted a reverse flick type pass by Kylie Leuluai of the Leeds chapter in France to set up a try. This though was balanced out by a late hit on some poncey winger. It cost the big man a spell in the sin bin but it was worth every single minute.

We've been asked about Props wearing these fancy skins and undershirts. The answer to that is simple. It's wrong. Now we know James Peacock has been known to wear a long sleeved shirt every now and then but we accept that because it's old school and retro. We've also been asked about mouthguards, a necessary evil unfortunately but can be a source of amusement. I remember a young Nicholas Scruton scoring for Hull against Leeds, big smile on his mug only to see his blue and amber guard on display. The boy knows his roots.

It has been reported that one of our more impressionable member at Wakefield, Ben Gledhill is being led astray but more senior members. Although complimented by our spy for his performance, that being superior to more seasoned member, he needs to sort out this boot issue and stop wearing white boots and find a good pair of black uns. This footwear problem is an ongoing problem at Wakefield and we'll be making our feelings known.

We'd like to compliment Ryan Bailey of the Leeds chapter for taking note of the boot policy. He was sporting a pair of predominantly black boots on Sunday. Still a bit of white on em but they were much better than in recent times.

We're also disturbed to hear that Shane Tronc is under the thumb of his better half and he's being forced to move back down under. Put your foot down lad, you shouldn't be letting your woman tell you what you should be doing. And while your home, buy some new bloody boots. Unless your missus won't let you, of course.

Craig Huby is getting back into old habits, more kicking the ball in the game last weekend against Huddersfield. We're quite glad actually, he's beginning to regret the errors of his ways and the cheque landed on the mat on Monday morning. Big wraps to his colleague at the Castleford chapter, Liam Higgins. That is a proper, old school prop's physique he's got going on there. Reminds me of a young Brendan Hill.

Luke Burgess's behaviour continues to cause concern for the Union. Some of his twitter updates are quite alarming.

We've also had some reports of boot problems down under. Nowt to do wi us, but we've passed your comments onto our friends in Australia for further investigation.

Don't forget as ever we're nowt without your help and contributions. You can sight and cite via Twitter, commenting on here or on RLFANS.

Thanking you kindly.

As you were