Tuesday, 18 May 2010

Video nasty

Some weeks ago, we brought you a shocking video featuring Nick Fozzard bringing disgrace on his profession. Well more video nasties have emerged.

Danny Samuel of the Rochdale chapter is in big trouble for this. He's been caught on film scoring a try. It was officially timed at 7.9 seconds, the fastest ever in Rugby League and easily outstripping the previous best set by a member of this fine union. What's more, he's done it while wearing orange boots and playing in the second row without the necessary permit in place.

WARNING: This video should not be viewed by anyone who holds the great traditions of the union dear or has any sort of nervous disposition

This sort of behaviour cannot be condoned - none of it. The boots would be bad enough on their own. Scoring a try is bad enough on it's own, let alone after 7.9 seconds. Combine them all together and there can be no option. You might be in the bloody Guinness Book o'World records lad but your actions are still accountable to this fine Union. Danny Samuel: you're suspended from the PFU.

Ooh la la

As the heading on this here website thingy says, the PFU officially incorporates the Association Français de Piliers (AFP), which is, as far as I can see, foreign for Prop Forward's Union.

We received a despatch from our well-tanned correspondent, the carrier pigeon being unaffected by volcanic ash. Step forward David Ferriol. Unlike ourselves, the RFL have no appreciation of the noble art of front rowery and have him on a charge of "repeated punching" in an altercation with Danny Washbrook. We, however, warmly congratulate Monsieur Ferriol for his actions, made all the better that Washbrook was playing at stand-off in the game. Fancy-dan half-back getting his just desserts. Gold star (etoile d'or?) for M Ferriol. Well done sir.

The other French team playing over here, Toulouse, were involved in a game that saw some less welcome behaviour. They were beaten by Sheffield at Bramall Lane in a game that saw Mitchell Stringer kick four goals. Behave yourself sir and cough up the statutory fine. Toulouse prop Mathieu Griffi also brought shame on his profession, dribbling the ball through to the in-goal and scoring. He claims it was accidental, but the committee found against him and he too will be topping up the coffers with the requisite amount of euros.

Elsewhere, the lad Luke Burgess continues to incur the wrath. Look lad, you're not a loose forward, so keep your head out of the back of the scrum.

And it's a general warning to all as regards footwear. This is becoming so regular we're not sure threats of action are being taken seriously. It will be item one on the agenda at the Union general conference later in the year. In the meantime, we urge members to look to senior professionals such as Mr Morley (Warrington chapter) and Mr O'Meley (Hull (West)) for guidance.

That is all.

See thee.