Saturday, 17 April 2010

Catching up on business

Nah then.

First of all an apology to our regular readers and viewers for the break in transmission in recent times. We've had a bit of sickness running through the Union and the Chairman has been particularly sick at the recent antics of some of the members.

We don't know where to start to be honest but we're going to dip into lower league action to start with and we're going to pick on a young man by the name of Daniel Samuels. Now if you're wondering who he is, he plays for Rochdale and he's taken this boot thing a stage further. Not content with showing blatant disregard for the boot policy of this fine Union, he's been spotted packing down in the front row in a pair of ORANGE, yes that's Orange, boots. We'll be writing to Mr Samuel for an explanation of these actions.

At least Andy Lynch has ditched that boot combination we were talking about a while ago but he brought shame and embarrassment on himself when attempting a drop goal in the clash at Headingley just before Easter. What's more disappointing is it wern't that bad an effort to start with but thankfully it were off target, so he escapes the maximum fine.

More disgraceful behaviour at Huddersfield on Friday night, not content with his girly hair cut and the white boots that taint this fine union at the moment Eorl Crabtree was spotted packing down in the middle of the front row. This is a clear breach of Union guidelines, no pass out had been applied for and we'll be reminding Mr Crabtree of his responsibility towards the Union and fellow members.

That big Feka lad at Wigan led they way on Good Friday with a fine example of a prop
forwards try in't big derby again Tellins. It was a shining example of an acceptable try scoring play for a member. Unfortunately on Sunday he blotted his copybook with wearing these white boots with a pink stripe on em. What's going on there lad? We'll be hauling you over the coals in the near future.

Richard Moore has been cited by a member of the public for a disgraceful act at the Pie Dome on Easter Monday. Again those dreaded white boots were on show and he performed an act of kicking the football which resulted in a goal line drop out. We'd shudder at the thought that he's been socialising with that Huby but we'll come onto him later in the piece.

Another member of the public has highlighted a reverse flick type pass by Kylie Leuluai of the Leeds chapter in France to set up a try. This though was balanced out by a late hit on some poncey winger. It cost the big man a spell in the sin bin but it was worth every single minute.

We've been asked about Props wearing these fancy skins and undershirts. The answer to that is simple. It's wrong. Now we know James Peacock has been known to wear a long sleeved shirt every now and then but we accept that because it's old school and retro. We've also been asked about mouthguards, a necessary evil unfortunately but can be a source of amusement. I remember a young Nicholas Scruton scoring for Hull against Leeds, big smile on his mug only to see his blue and amber guard on display. The boy knows his roots.

It has been reported that one of our more impressionable member at Wakefield, Ben Gledhill is being led astray but more senior members. Although complimented by our spy for his performance, that being superior to more seasoned member, he needs to sort out this boot issue and stop wearing white boots and find a good pair of black uns. This footwear problem is an ongoing problem at Wakefield and we'll be making our feelings known.

We'd like to compliment Ryan Bailey of the Leeds chapter for taking note of the boot policy. He was sporting a pair of predominantly black boots on Sunday. Still a bit of white on em but they were much better than in recent times.

We're also disturbed to hear that Shane Tronc is under the thumb of his better half and he's being forced to move back down under. Put your foot down lad, you shouldn't be letting your woman tell you what you should be doing. And while your home, buy some new bloody boots. Unless your missus won't let you, of course.

Craig Huby is getting back into old habits, more kicking the ball in the game last weekend against Huddersfield. We're quite glad actually, he's beginning to regret the errors of his ways and the cheque landed on the mat on Monday morning. Big wraps to his colleague at the Castleford chapter, Liam Higgins. That is a proper, old school prop's physique he's got going on there. Reminds me of a young Brendan Hill.

Luke Burgess's behaviour continues to cause concern for the Union. Some of his twitter updates are quite alarming.

We've also had some reports of boot problems down under. Nowt to do wi us, but we've passed your comments onto our friends in Australia for further investigation.

Don't forget as ever we're nowt without your help and contributions. You can sight and cite via Twitter, commenting on here or on RLFANS.

Thanking you kindly.

As you were

1 comment:

Yorkshire_Red said...

Nah then. It sickens me to report that that paragon of propping virtues Andy Shickell from t'Keighley chapter was wearing some kind of gold & blue monstrosity on his feet at Post Office Road on Thursday night. I would respectfully request leniency from the chairman as Shickell atoned for his wrongdoing with a cheap shot on the cheeky halfback Liam Finn.