Quiet opening to the season

Now then.

The season is well underway and one thing is clear. The Hon Secretary needs a new sat nav. It took us ages to get back from Wales and all because he didn't want to fork out for the Severn Bridge toll. But then I suppose that's why he was appointed to the position in the first place - tighter than a mermaid's brassiere.

Anyway, we're all back safe and have remarkably little to report from the Magic weekend. As it's early days, we'll just issue a general reminder to the membership that we're still looking at footwear and will be clamping down again, so get yer boot black out.

The major issue was the king-hit on Crusaders full-back Clinton Shift-cough-ski. Why was that left to the little hooker Wayne Godwin? The Salford shop steward Lee Jewitt has been summoned to the offices to explain.

Other than that, an investigation into two members from the North Wales chapter putting boot to ball, but generally well done. Keep it up.