Kicking Around

Now then

Much to report after a busy couple of weeks for the membership.

We start in the Championship where Steven Pickersgill was severely reprimanded after a Grade 2 "kicking the football" offence in the recent fixture against Toulouse. Look lad, you can't go round doing stuff like that if you want your chance with the bigger lads next year in Super Duper League and with TV cameras present as well

If it weren't bad enough for Craig Huby and his broken kneecap, he wasn't over impressed being hauled up to PFU Towers to explain the arrival of a white booted Martin Aspinwall sticking his melon in the front row of the scrum during the recent game against Leeds. Huby, god bless him, twanged the heart strings of a few of the committee members by tipping up with his less than three week old son with him to the meeting, claiming the wife was busy entertaining his daughter and he was a "modern parent". A clever ploy by Mr Huby but the Chairman still has his heart of stone and a reprimand was issued to the club as a whole.


Big Eorl at Huddersfield caused consternation t'other day by posting his new boots on his twitter account for one and all to see.

These boots are not acceptable lad. Bring tha cheque book, oh and a pen as well.

We also apologise for printing this picture and we acknowledge the author of this picture and his intellectual (er) rights

And, to boot we also think you should volunteer to be the new Back to Black ambassador as a punishment

Richard Moore heaps more disgrace on himself and the good folk of North Wales after his disgraceful antics at Headingley t'other Saturday Not satisfied after getting a ban after being clouted by some full back t'other Monday his left footed bomb and subsequent chase were clearly seen by one and all on NATIONAL FREE TO AIR Television. What the hell are you thinking lad?

Down in sunny Wakefield, with the antics of Kyle Amor running across the line, showing and going and running through gaps to score has gone down like the proverbial lead balloon. Granted it was against lower clash opposition but Mr Amor has been sent a warning letter reminding him of his duties towards the Union and we expect his conduct to improve in the near future.

The committee were saddened by the decision to charge Nathan Brown over comments made after the Leeds v Huddersfield game with regards to letting his big blokes look after the little ones. The prospect of seeing members going mano a mano on the meadow have now been dashed for some time to come.

We were saddened to hear the news from Australia about former member Sam Burgess being knocked out for the rest of the year with a bad injury and the committee would like to wish the lad a speedy recovery and we hope to see him back on the paddock soon rather than filling up the twitter feed of the Chairman. Maybe he can remind his younger brother, Thomas, about this try scoring lark and maybe look to the effort of Frank Watene as inspiration.

Now we like Louie McCarthy-Scarsbrook, despite him being a Southerner and all that. He needs to clean up his act big time, the language he uses on his twitter account made the Hon Secretary's eyes water so much there's a kleenex shortage at the Towers. He needs to learn the act of banter as well, because at the moment he's an expert in shanter. (thanks @GavWilson ) He also needs to learn not to mess with Nicholas Scruton, who put him quickly back in his place with an eloquent put down.

The PFU advice line somehow opened via our twitter account this week, we had an enquiry from @Craig311981

"I need help, my son isn't a prop, he is 7, I've just bought him blue and white boots, with pink stripes, where do I pay the fine"

Apparently this @craig311981 is a prop forward encouraging his lad not to follow union guidelines. He was taking liberties until he explained that his offspring was happy hiding in the back. Toughen the lad up and make sure he follows in your boots.

We're more than happy to help anyone who gets in touch on the twitter, just don't be offended by the reply.

Thanks again to this weeks dobbers and dabbers, @Kevbateman, @MatthewAHorton @petevickers @atomictrain @jourdmart @RobNixon586 @neilbarraclough @andywiz @garrylad

Oh, and we'd like to plug the fund raising barbecue at Odsal on't 3rd July for the Floods and Earthquake victims. ISC have sponsored it and there is a Barby, beer and some Touch Rugby competition. To get a team in that, contact friend of the Union Ricky Wilby on 07598 564996 or follow him on twitter at @RickyWilby or @scratchingshed2 for more information about the do,

Our new favourite union member

Herewith the latest from PFU Towers.

We like to start on a positive and it's great praise first off to Paul Wood (Warrington) who was involved in a Twitter spat with cheeky half-back Lee Briers about boot colouration. "Black boots all day me, pal", commented Mr Wood after Mr Briers accused him of wearing white. He continued "Only softys wear other colours than black boots". Yes they do indeed sir. Mr Wood has been a favourite of the Chairman for some time given his 100% attitude, all-out style and constant grafting. This has tipped him over into gold star territory.

The big stink at Leeds last Friday can't go uncommented for good and bad reasons. Firstly, Ian Kirke (Leeds) packed down at loose forward. We've only just processed his union membership and that's how he repays us? Treachery. Fine issued. Two fully paid-up members from the Leeds chapter took a liking to cheeky half-back Kevin Brown. First, Kylie Leuluai clobbered him late and gets brownie points for his "I got there as quick as I could" excuse. Later, Ryan Bailey had a crack at Brown after a verbal set-to which sparked a bit of a schemozzle. It was nice to see Luke O'Donnell, the Huddersfield back row, race to get involved and then stand aside, clearly realising that this is an area where union members have first dibs. It's warming to know that non-members respect the traditions of our organisation, but where were the Huddersfield union contingent? Someone needs to speak up in the way that Huddersfield coach Nathan Brown did after the game.

Brown, Nathan that is, suggested that if referees aren't going to protect his half-backs, he'd have to get his big fellers to do it instead. We hope he meant our union membership when he said that and if he's declaring open season for our members on half-backs, we can see a delegation making the trip to the Galpharm a bit more of a regular feature this season. Being a little hooker in his playing days, Brown clearly realises the benefits of protection from union membership and we hope he follows through on his pledge.

The week previously, Mr Bailey also earned himself credit for smashing Willie Mason (Hull East), but his ire may have been better directed at Rhys Lovegrove who was named at loose forward.

Wakefield seem to have their house in order boot-wise. Messrs Kyle Amor, Liam Higgins and Paul King all had appropriate footwear on at the weekend. Only Paul Johnson did not. We're watching, lad.

Some try-scoring breaches to report. Rémi Casty's (Perpignan) effort against Wigan last week was a good 20 yards beyond union guidelines and Tony Puletua (Tellins) backed up a break over 60 metres to take the scoring pass against Wakefield. Andy Lynch (Bradford) was reported to us for his try against Salford, but a review of the video evidence showed it to be well within guidelines.
Wigan's Andy Coley created a try with a kick which will trigger the usual fine and Nathan Massey (Castleford) bagged a hat-trick in an under-20s match. Just because it's not first grade doesn't mean we don't learn these things. Fine issued.

Staying with the Perpignan chapter, shop steward David Ferriol gave little Hull scrum-half Sam Obst a right wallop in the tackle which pleased our observer and we like the cut of Mickael Simon's jib, although someone needs a word about boot colouration. Perhaps Mr Wood when next those sides meet.

Finally, a sad tale of former member Paul Highton, spotted enjoying some refreshment in an Oldham hostelry the other night. "He can't drink to save his life" said our informer, something which can't be said of Steve Molloy who clearly can.


Thanks to our contributors this week, namely @W_L_Andy, @Kendall_17, @Kevbateman, @garrylad and @stumain. Keep em peeled over the ever-busy Easter period. Contact the chairman on his Twitter or leave us a comment below. Thanking you.