Union laughing stock

Not this union, you understand, the other one. Rugby union. Yes, it comes as a shock to us all that they can make themselves look more foolish than anyone thought possible, but they've done it. It's farewell from the PFU to Willie Mason (Hull East) after a farcical time in England with Hull KR playing the rulebook like a finely tuned piano. Having given up on attempting to get him a Tongan passport, he's now off to play the fifteen-man game in France where he'll be deployed as a fancy-dan centre. Yes, that's right. Willie Mason - THE Willie Mason - a fancy-dan centre. Beggars belief doesn't it. There is no word yet whether Rovers will be retaining the huge pile of unsold 'Mason 23' jerseys in anticipation of a move to sign Huddersfield's Keith for next season.

Easter is always a busy period and that's no different at PFU headquarters. We had Paul Wood and Garreth Carvell (Warrington) reported to us for potential try-scoring breaches against Salford on Good Friday, but Carvell's was well within guidelines while Wood's may normally have incurred a fine, he successfully used the "but Salford were utter rubbish" defence. Moreover, we caught sight of this picture on Twitter of him doing sterling work on the union's behalf, so how could we be anything other than lenient.

Paul Johnson (Wakefield) continues to blot his copybook with fancy footwear and a 30-metre try against Castleford. He should learn from Andy Coley (Wigan) who went on a similar run, realised his mistake and knocked-on over the line against Wakefield on the Monday.

Disturbing scenes at the Odsal Superdome on the Thursday where an entire scrum packed down in white boots. Even Andy Lynch - not normally the rebellious type - succumbed to temptation and we'll be calling in the Bradford and Leeds shop stewards for a cup of tea and a chat. Lynch was also reported for his try in that game, but a review of the available footage showed he was OK.

Karl Temata's (London West) try against Hull KR, also on Monday, was reported to us. He broke the line 10 metres out and went over unopposed, but his flapping mullet was taken into account when deciding no further action would be taken. It's not been a vintage year for Richard Moore (Wales North) who is rapidly becoming the worst offender. Whilst wearing white boots against Leeds on Monday, he was also chinned by a full-back. Yes, he got his retaliation in afterwards, but is the motto of this fine union not (among other things) Thou Shalt Get Thy Retaliation In First Lad. Meanwhile on Tuesday, there was precious little going on at Huddersfield where Nathan Brown has yet to follow through on his threats to call open season between the big lads. Get on with it lad.

More Twitter nonsense from the disgraceful Luke Burgess (Leeds) who revealed he was getting waxed. Apparently, that hurts, so we feel obliged to add to the pain by stinging him with a fine. Cough up, young 'un.

Finally, best wishes to reformed character Craig Huby (Castleford). A broken kneecap is a bloody horrible injury and everyone at HQ wishes him a speedy and successful recovery.


Thanks to this week's spotters, namely @W_L_Andy, @andywiz, @MatthewAHorton, @atomictrain, @whatmichaelsays and @exiledwool. Keep up the good work and let us know what you see when you're out and about.

Unsporting conduct

Word reaches us from one of our spotters of some obscene prop-on-prop action from last weekend's Warrington v Castleford game. Garreth Carvell led with the elbow on Paul Jackson, seemingly oblivious of the PFU Code Of Conduct. While knocking folk about is one of the noble arts of prop forwardry that we, the union, seek to uphold, it's against the Brotherhood ethos for members to engage in it between themselves. So to the protagonist, we say: Sir, save your energies for noble pursuits such as twatting half-backs, fancy-dan wingers and anyone with a stupid haircut.
No fines will be issued, but a letter reminding Mr Carvell of his duties to his brothers in the union will be issued.

In other news:

Now the PFU is dipping it's tow in the waters of modern technology what with this 'ere webpage as well as going all a'Twitter, but a source tells us that we're not the first among brethren to jump on board these new toys. A source tells us that Luke Burgess "practically lives on Twitter" and that it's "all about his trips to bleedin' Nandos". Now we're all for encouraging the lad, but we're still trying to ascertain whether these new fangled gadgmos and gizgets are all that and we've yet to give proper approval. So calm down young Burgess.

Elsewhere, a member of the Bradford chapter has been putting his spare time to useful employ. Andy Lynch has made a great impression with his mickey taking of one of the members of the Association of Dummy Halves and Hookers (ADHH), namely one Wayne Godwin, by inventing 'Wagga's Wall of Fame' and features a number of lookalikes of Mr Godwin. Among these are though to be Carlos Tevez, Gordon Ramsay, David Gest, Simon Weston, Leatherface from the Texas Chainsaw Massacre films and Gollum. A fine use of your time, Mr Lynch.